How to always make the right decisions: Why a purpose of life and a set of values is so important, and how you can master your decision-making that will bring you to your dream life

Are you wonder how to master your decision-making

“How I can to make the right decisions” – I often hear this question from my coaching clients. They say that it’s hard for them to make decisions – big or small ones. So, why is that, and what can you do to master your decision-making? To answer this question and inspire you, I decided to write this blog post. I’m happy it found you, and I hope it will help you with your decisions, but not just with them. I hope it will help you to find your purpose in life also.

Why finding the purpose of life is so important from the decision-making point of view?

If you still wonder how decision-making links with life purpose and a set of values, let’s dive into the topic. The ability to find meaning in what is happening around us, even in the most difficult times, is one of the most important components of resilience, and yes, decision making. According to most researchers, this kind of meaning-making is the way resilient people build bridges between an illusion present and a more fulfilling, happier future. Such bridges help them to cope with difficulties without overwhelming themselves. People with high resilience find a constructive element in their suffering. They fill their lives and the lives of those around them with contentment and a feeling of purpose. In the face of life challenges instead of asking ”Why me?” these people ask ”Why not me?”

An Austrian neurologist, psychiatrist, philosopher, writer, and Holocaust survivor, Viktor Frankl formulated this idea of a search for a life’s meaning as the central human motivational force. In an environment of inhumane bullying and suffering, he came up with “meaning therapy” – a humanistic technique that helps people make decisions that give meaning to their lives. In his bestselling book Man’s Search for Meaning he described the turning point of his life in the Nazi concentration camp, which was associated with the invention of the “meaning therapy.” Frankl writes: “We should never forget that the meaning of life can be found even in the most hopeless situation when you can do nothing to change your circumstances.” You can listen the book on Audible.

Stop blaming yourself for the wrong decisions made in the past

Could you bring into your mind the last case of procrastinating that happened to you. Or do you remember a range of situations when you have blamed yourself for the bad decisions afterward? Some of the cases may make you laugh, while others feel so bad that it seems they have changed the direction of your life dramatically. If you can recognize yourself, just know that you are not alone. I also have a lot of dramatic choice experiences and decisions I would never do if I would have a chance to live that moment again. Or think of all the stupid things we did when we were younger. Too much alcohol, too less sleep, drugs, you name it.

But whatever your experiences would be, the one thing stays the same – the nasty feeling after the bad decision. Okay, now we are not teenagers anymore (most of us), and though we procrastinate in the face of choices: “Is an A option better than B? Should I work tonight and make money for my family, or should I spend quality time with the kids? Should I drink one more beer as my friends do, or is it okay if I skip it? Stable job or entrepreneurship? Salad or hamburger?” We make thousands of choices every day.

Let me tell you what the world’s taught question is. “What is my purpose of life?”

What is the purpose of life?

I have been working on my self-improvement since I was a teenage girl. I’ve described my personal growth experience earlier in my thesis. You can read the thesis online. And I feel like I’ve achieved a lion’s portion of my goals and checked most of the boxes people often want to check in their life.

I’ve always wanted to create an incredible life, but the driver for achieving it was mostly money. So, I’ve spent a good portion of my life going for financial freedom. At some point in my life, I luckily understood that money does not make me happy. Actually, it does not make anyone happy. I’ve been surprised to see rich and unhappy people the same time around me. Many successful and famous people ended up getting depressed, becoming alcoholics, or even killing themselves. Most people think that getting to the top of the social mountain will make them happier and feel better. But unfortunately, when they are finally on top of it, they feel worse, understanding that nothing has changed, and they still feel empty inside. So, if financial success is not the point why we are on this planet, what is the purpose of life?

The answer to this question is that we are all here to grow in some sort of way. The purpose of life is to grow in every aspect of life: spiritually, mentally, emotionally, physically as well as in all other ways. So, you are here to learn how to become better day by day.

Learn from what triggers you

Every circumstance in your life was brought for you to wake up and grow. Life gives you opportunities and lessons to learn how to become better in every aspect of your life.There’s no destination in life. This thought could seem scary for some people, but I want it to be freeing and stimulating for you. Think, how you can start to learn from all the things, good or bad ones, that have happened to you.

You have to understand that your growth does not happen despite your circumstances – it comes through them. If you are a parent, you probably know that your children know how to trigger you better than anyone else. Children are the best teachers. They were given us to be able to learn and grow through being their parents. Not despite your kids you grow and learn, but you learn and grow through them. Same, all the circumstances and challenges in your life are your teachers.

If something happened to you ten years ago and it still hurts you, that is the sign, showing you that you have not learned the lesson. The issue will continue repeating over and over again until you will finally learn from it.

When you go through some situation triggering you, ask yourself: “How can I learn and grow through this?” Stop and step back. Then you need to realize your emotions and let you see if in the middle of the storm you can be calm and grateful.

Learning and growing as a lifestyle

The universe gives you lessons all the time, like in school, where we make a lot of mistakes and fall tests. And sometimes we look back and regret wishing we would not act this way. If it is familiar to you, then know that there’s an opportunity to show you where you need to get better next time. And you can either ignore this lesson or learn from it, get better and finally pass the next text.

Learning and improving is a lifelong process. Remember, it takes about 10000 hours to master some skill. It does not matter how many mistakes you have done in the past. You always have a chance to start all over again. When you start each day, think about what you can learn today. Keep yourself asking: “How can I grow today? How can I be a better person today?” It is so much easier to wake up and go into the day knowing that you can learn from it.

So, what is the purpose of life? Here is the answer: to learn, grow, and enjoy our time on this planet. For me, as for most of us, learning, growing, and improving are the way to live – it’s a lifestyle. Therefore, my credo is: Improve yourself – make the world better.

Improve yourself – make the world better

The more you are working on yourself, the better you become. The better you become in this game, the better your life becomes. The better your life becomes, the better your family’s life becomes, and the better everybody’s life around you becomes. And the better their lives become, the better they can influence the people’s lives around them and the world as a whole. Because you become an example of how to free yourself of all of the world’s illusion.

If you would make a list of things that need to be changed in the world right now, what things would you add to the list? Do you want people to be more kind? Do you want them to be more careful with the planet resources? Put your wishes down, look at the list and then rate yourself in these things. Probably you will be surprised that when you wish others to be this or that way, you have to be this or that way yourself.

When you realize it and start to improve yourself, you will start to become the change you want to see in the world. You will become a ray of sunshine to other people. People look at you and see someone who is free of this illusion. They will see someone so much happier and calmer that they want to become like you. So, be an example showing what is possible. Do not try to change others, but change yourself first. Put the oxygen mask on yourself first, and you will be able to save others. Be the change you want to see in the world.

Make decisions according to your values

And what happens when we finally decide to improve something in our lives? We concentrate on one thing or one life area, prioritize it to the rest of them and end up wondering why we are not happy when we have achieved our goal (that can be a fit body / high-payed work / third baby). The answer is because of the lack of harmony between life areas and a mission in life. The answer is simple, but understanding it can be not.

We used to choose between two options, between two goals, between two values. Friends OR family? Health OR career? Success OR mental wellness. The problem is that concentrating on just one of the areas we leave other areas of life empty.

To prevent that kind of bad balance act according to your value system. You need to ask yourself how this or that decision is consistent with your long-term goals and mission and how it can help you become the person you want to be.

So first, you need to define your system of values. Value orientations determine the essence of human or organizational activity. They underlie meaningful decisions. Times change, but the system of values does not change significantly, serving as reliable support for you. While your strategy and mission may change, values remain the same.

Find your mission – find your why when making decisions

Many coaching programs use Frankl’s theory as a basis. One of them is The 7 Spheres of Self-Improvement. The 7 Spheres of Self-Improvement personal growth system, earlier developed by me, is based on the 7-step model. The program deals with the wholeness of the seven most important life areas: inner peace, physical health, relationships, career, studying, influence, and life mission. The idea of the concept is to balance all of these seven life areas. When we are starting, I help my coaching client define their true values and find their mission in life. Then we work together on concreting their goals in all seven spheres of life where every single goal supports your growth in all other life areas together and separately. I think children should be taught such fundamental things in school, but since it does not happen, we coaches do this for our adult clients.

The idea of the meaning of life and feeling of purpose may seem ephemeral and elusive: If you once found it for yourself, this does not mean that you will be able to keep it for your whole life or, having lost find it again later.

Since the ability to find meaning in life is so important from the resilience point of view, it is not surprising that the most successful individuals and entire organizations have a distinct system of fundamental values. They fill existence with meaning because it helps them comprehend what is happening around them. While dedication to principle is often a cause of ridicule these days, it is hardly an accident that the most resilient organization in the world is the Catholic Church. The most successful commercial organizations also have a certain set of principles. The purpose of their activities is not limited to making money. In fact, many successful firms use religious terms to describe their values. For example, Johnsson & Johnsson expresses its value system in the document called “credo”. And a parcel service giant UPS, in its turn, speaks of its Highest Goal.

Master your decision-making and start to move towards your dream life

You can be surprised to find how easy decision-making can be and how every choice you make is just right for you! Have you ever felt 100% happy at the end of the day because you have done just right things through the day, and it feels like you are moving towards your dream life? So, you will when you’ll find your purpose in life.

To master your decision-making and to improve your life in short time, follow the steps below:

  1. Realize your current situation – why you are here, and what decisions made in the past have brought you to this point?
  2. Define your values – right down five of the most important things in your life.
  3. Find your life purpose – find your why and identify your mission statement.
  4. Set up goals for each of the seven life areas.
  5. Brake the goals into small and tiny ones and write them down. Make sure that each of them supports your system of values and your other goals.
  6. Read through your notes with your values, mission, and goals wrighten down every day, at least once a day. 
  7. Follow your set of values when making decisions. Your set of values and your mission are your best guides for your life.

And feel free to contact us, if you need help in your personal growth and self-improvement. I wish you all the best. Learn, grow and be a ray of sunshine for those around you!

Read also other blogposts and subscribe for our podcasts on Spotify, Apple Podcasts, Anchor, Google Podcasts, Rephonic, or wherever you want to listen to podcasts.

Published by Christina A. Saks

Christina A. Saks - yrityksesi yhteisömanageri aina valmiina auttamaan

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